Updated: Aug 17
What we bring into every relationship is the (often unconscious) idea that we "know" what we observe.
Consider that it is that very idea of who we think we are and who/what we are not, that we being into every relationship, that sabotages real intimacy.
Staying open to the possibility that we don't know what seems to be apparent allows an openness, transparency and teachability to come closer to what is being observed, including yourself.
This allows a freedom of being, a natural and non threatening flow of expansion to nurture and grow within the relationship.
The opposite of that is also true.
To consider that one has (unconsciously) "the right view" of what is observed, we close to anything that would demonstrate what we choose not to listen to or see.
This closes intimacy with ourselves and another by putting ourself (our way of seeing, observing and judging the relational field) as the only way of relating.
You will observe any relationship touched by this form of self-centeredness become tense, capacities to expand are thwarted by the security need to stay in the form identity in the way the self-centeredness observes their unquestioned "reality".
The unquestioned reality leads to more limitations and pain through ignorance of ourselves and what we are doing to (mis)perceive the world.
Living without a personal agenda allows life to demonstrate and show you what it is and you are in it.
In this way, relating without yourself in life can deepen the communion with life that you experience as the same as everything around you.
Being in harmony with what is present, without your ideas present, can spark genius within, allowing the Universe itself to inspire new ways of relating with it, connecting to bigger bodies of collective resonance.
Relationship and intimacy become life and life is a natural teacher of the reality we live if we just stop thinking (we know).