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Protector: Shadow of Self




Forgiveness is not for another.


Yet our surrender to allow a greater power to inform us, will impact another by proxy.

When no one is holding the story, the story ceases to be told and repeated.  Not as repression, but as a purification of the habituated self who takes form as personality.

Forgiveness is necessary to purify the solidity formed as our personhood. This solidity is the accumulation of places we have layered memories and emotion formed.  They are also known as energetic blocks.


Forgiveness is like the “roto-rooter” of all frequencies as it can, in essence, demolish the most potent and long held burdens and restore our connection to our innocence, before anything ever occurred.  This is what is also meant when it is said to “be as a child” to enter the kingdom of heaven.


The world must be forgiven within us.  All trespasses and grievances must be brought to the alter within.


The accumulation of history that we record within our bodies impacts our decisions.  When our orientation becomes masked by individuality in the most basic meaning, where we have willed ourselves separate versus understood the interconnectivity of all and are able to manage or even command the energies as they are a part of us, we are still trapped.


The layers of meaning we give the events that happen, taint the purity of the simplicity of existence.  We hurt, and we hurt one another.


When we accumulate a lot of history, we inherit a protector that is seemingly here to help us and our future version to avoid this pain again.  Yet it is within this subtle “help” that we slowly forget the simplicity and innocence of ourselves and others.


When we decide we need to be protected, we often create a subtle split in our energy.  There is us and what we are protecting, and the other whom we need to potentially protect ourselves from.


When we have accumulated past in our bodies, and patterning that we have not transformed yet into something more expansive and lighter feeling, the protector is often reaffirming the lack of safety one feels so that it can continue to live and have a function within us.


So, safety, and the whole realm of what “feels” safe becomes a red/green flag relationship. 


Yet what remains hidden within the shadows of the protector is the illusion that one is supposed to feel safe, and that this world or this body is safe.  The illusion of safety is what the protector ultimately does not want discovered, for without it, we believe we are not safe, are vulnerable, at the whim of it all, exposed, will be overwhelmed by it all and are weak to not be able to handle it.


It is through this exact shadow that liberation arises.


When we allow forgiveness to be, and we cease resisting the pain within our past, recognizing that we could not have done anything to have changed what is, the judgement of the right/wrong of it only keeps us in the pain longer, and the fear to let go of the illusory power that the protector provides through forced separation, only keeps us in bondage to our pain, that much longer. 


Buried and stowed away, the protector keeps you “safe” …but really it is keeping itself safe too.


When we see that the utility of the protector is to stop us from feeling vulnerable, to generate feelings of separation by generating the boundary of willful exertion of force that blocks us from feeling the innocence of the pain to also move through it naturally, we can start to understand how holding on to this protector is hurting us.  Killing us even.


Imagine that it protects itself from death of any facet of realization of its wholeness (ego) while it simultaneously gives you immense strength to do so.  But who benefits in the long term?


The protector adds power and control making us feel, by proxy, we have power and control thus satiating the fear that we can do nothing and that doing nothing (feeling it all) we would be consumed by the pain we feel.  This prolongation of pain that the protector does not want you to feel, turns into suffering when met with its gift of separation.  And this separation is incurred by the protector that initially wanted to keep you from feeling the pain also cuts you off from transcending your pain and becoming more of yourself.


Yet it seems that pain is a teacher that we cannot protect ourselves from, to learn the lessons of deeper attunement.


We must let go of that power we are given to separate ourselves and overcome the fear that

the protector was fielding for us giving us false power and control through separation.


Real power comes from wholeness.  It teaches you through empowerment, not fear.  We are restored through surrender of power to the greater power that knows all the parts of us that are desiring to be held, not by pushing away but by holding close.


Thus, forgiveness becomes necessary for the one who has accumulated a lot of separation (time) in the body/mind.  Separation from Self is the source of suffering itself. 


The will to maintain our separation as a singular identity is the collective wound we are traversing.


When we understand the impact to ourselves impacts others, and that our impact to others impacts us and feel the pain of that separate thought of “you” and “me,” we are given another chance to surrender the desire to use power and control in self-fulfilling ways that benefit only ourselves. 


True power gives up the smaller power for a greater power…thus surrender is always the path to liberation as the giving up or emptying of self allows more of Self to become.  When we withhold ourselves from another or from life, we are creating a shell that numbs us more than it protects us. 


Avoidance and denial are only protection for the small self, not the whole of Self.


Forgiveness is a portal into no-thingness.  Zero Point energy.  Annihilation of the small self into the Magical Child of love’s creation, whole and perfect.  Vision is restored to see the whole of the body of Self also innocent.  We cannot impact another without acknowledging the pain and/or suffering that arises within us when we act out of our own small self.  It is that small self that needs liberation and there is no protector needed for that liberation.


Let it fall away.  What is left is what IS.  Our internal states attuning within purity and wholeness guide us to more states of expansive love in a myriad of forms.  We can trust each other because we can trust ourselves.


Where we cannot trust ourselves, forgiveness is needed to restore the “lies” we have believed, the shells of protection that have cut us off from trusting our embodied presence and navigating the world from this internal sanctuary of heaven on earth.

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Love this. You're starting to remind me of my new favorite YouTuber/Non-dualist persona - Anna Brown.

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