No Thing Ness
The return to oneness also has a pure face of destruction.
We have been taught to look upon chaos as a state, non-permanence, a dis-order, and let's not forget that being in a relationship with someone who feels chaotic, which can all generate feelings of discomfort and pain, is often stigmatized and avoided.
If we could take for a moment, another
look at chaos and disorderliness, we may find another more pure form of this energy.
What if Chaos was indeed, the purest resonance needed for evolution in form?
What if what we considered painful, was indeed, the feeling of "not knowing" in a chaotic state that was looking for a structure, for a form to be-come something we can know?
What if chaos itself was the void itself, before what is known, becomes?
And what if the feelings we experience while in chaos shake up our ideas about what is known and unknown in our world and the pain of that "lack" of certainty of what is, creates confusion that we inherently desire to order?
If so, consider then, the process of coming to create order from confusion, we become more intimate with the facets of the unknown in our own being and that intimacy creates a deeper sense of abiding safety than before.
What if chaos was in fact, the precursor to the state of coming home into oneness?
Let us look at what chaos does on an energetic level.
If we shake up a glass with sediment on the bottom, what once looked structured and ordered, albeit still dirty, is now mixing and swirling with the elements. Whether we needed to stir the two or not, is a moot point.
As life is, things just happen.
So now we have this chaotic liquid that makes no sense but we interpret to try and make sense of it. Maybe to a scientist, this may make sense and not create tension, but to most people, we may feel uneasy with this mixture.
Imagine this as our energy. As life happens, there is condensed energy that is awakened and now floating around the system.
Many of us may agree this chaotic and uncategorized slurry of feeling may not create a pleasant feeling. In our desire to return to something that feels pleasant, we look to give it meaning.
This is a great moment to recognize all the different particles floating that maybe in another point of time in our lives, we never could see it as uncomfortably clear as we can now.
Through this process of separating the wheat from the chaff, we can return to what we feel as normalcy, something that feels to us, harmonious and non-conflictive or combative to our sense of understanding of self.
Once integrated, it now takes on a whole new form, we now even feel changed or different.
Giving clarity, structure, and order to our mess, deepens our understanding of self.
What if we could take that same idea and run with it another way. What if the whole reason chaos exists is to return us to Source? What if chaos creates the tension of the question "I don’t know", forcing us to go deeper into "who does?".
What if life and death, existence and non-existence were just two sides of the same coin such as order and chaos? What if we could feel them too, in that way?
Simplistically speaking, if life seems about form, what if death is about no form?
If chaos brings up the question of self not knowing and fear of who then, does, creating the space to see that there is someone who has more Power than us TO KNOW and that is also, not ourselves, we may repress that chaos and come to fear it. We may never reach a space to go into the chaos of self-creation and sit in the seat of the non-existence of self giving ourselves the opportunity to KNOW Self as the existence beyond the not knowing, the death.
Maybe sitting in the seat of inner chaos, holding little self in loving acceptance while the fear of not knowing, we will come to know who that is that has been holding us this whole time.