In seeing the value of living a non violent life, we must look at all the subtleties that when left unseen and especially unattended, would agitate the mind into violence; violent thoughts, aggressive behaviors and postures.
To abstain from following these impulses one must initially use will power to stop ourselves from acting upon them as a part of our human inheritance. Also one must look more closely at the value of acting upon them and question what violence gives them as a reward.
For many, a sense of power for the powerlessness, thus covering the true feeling that is present and being with that versus projecting out a polarizing force to protect ourselves.
We have been hurt by people who say they love us, or should love us.
And for many, the pain of what has been denied to us (love, respect, care, humanity, etc.), and the stories we have believed about the reasons can be unbearable to endure, let alone relive.
And thus often “an protector” is born and develops as a separate identity apart from the whole of love. And we unconsciously feed this belief, often for the rest of our lives.
We see the pain of confusion within the question of "why me?" generates a gap with lack of clarity where the mind cannot comprehend the "why". It cannot.
Separate cannot understand whole, it can only understand a part of the whole as a separate part. Hence it’s the source of it’s own problem and cannot be the solution.
The mind cannot resolve this problem as the source of the problem and so cognitive dissonance forms as an answer to what is created.
And this inner felt sense of "lack" of love and the "self" who is worth loving, needs to understand "the why" to make sense of the pain.
It splits, it becomes two; the one in wholeness and the image of the whole one as part of the whole.
The mental anguish of being the image (a part-apart of love) becomes the lifelong journey of reconciliation with the painful and seemingly unjust primordial inheritance of this lack.
A collective belief in a separate You from love is one of the greatest lies continued in this world.
And the protector becomes the Judge of your personal world as it starts to enmesh itself with you so as to "save you" from annihilation.
And you would give it your power because you forget it was a coping strategy and eventually believe its you.
You become the judge.
Yet we don't see that it is this same judge who would eventually need to be dethroned for it's values are separate from the whole of love and would deny you from the whole of yourself...and others from the whole too.
When we are in relationship, these impulses can arise more often as we are purifying our human inheritance.
When we look at love and the nature of love, we often find we have mixed our confusion and willfulness to protect ourselves from our unprocessed and conditioned ideas of the nature of love.
If we were to look at love, we would see it that love wants for us, and because of the nature of love all others equally as well, to know it intimately within. To see thus know, there is only love.
Love without the human condition of (little self) protection, would know the safety that love provides.
Yet the confusion within the crucible of the purification process that often happens within the container of a love relationship, would purify all that is not love and loving, to make room for what is.
This process, when looked at from the smallness of the self, the human stuck in the conditions of the mind and trapped within their own self serving patterns that would demonstrate their own righteousness and even protect it at all costs, can feel very painful to the false. Even violent.
Yet for more love to be known, one must see clearly what is love. And that contrast can bring up a choice to lean in to the mystery and open ourselves up to something we have never experienced before in our body, embodied, or recoil and stay where we were.
When we see that we are challenged in a way that some might consider a test, and we fail to see that it is we ourselves who choose to stay small, thus “fail” the test, we may protect our pride by making up even more stories about why we are correct in staying small while puffing up the smallness like a virtue of making the “right” choice.
In doing so, we dishonor ourselves. Our conscience knows even if we “pretend” to make it “okay”. And eventually the pretending, or lying, will need to be seen in Truth. And often this is what we protect at all costs, the fall of pride and the false image that would keep us from true love.
When we can orient ourselves to something greater and the other cannot, we are left with a lot of challenges. Love will always be the answer. And following love will always be correct. This may also mean leaving another person, but you will never leave yourself.
In never leaving love, we leave others better than we found them. We stay whole. And whole speaks in whole which includes the other in wholeness. Love is inclusive yet paradoxically will purify in its love, all that is less loving. For love will expand into more and more of itself.
If we enter into a love relationship, we see them as an extension of ourselves and yet on their separate journey of self-discovery of what that means. Their journey to self and your journey become intertwined where both can help to be catalysts to all that is not in service to the whole of love.
The relationship serves as a purifier and amplifier. Yet both are individually challenged to rest in love as a baseline and an orientation; challenging familiar conditions and inheritance.
When we are anchored in love, we may notice that all relationships will challenge us into more love. This is natural for the commitment to love would show us through contrast, that which is not.
We observe our own personal commitment to our heart has nothing to do with the other person showing up or not. This has to do with our own personal choices in relationship to our own path in love.
When we take responsibility for ourselves, for our own choices and actions as a result of our commitment to truth, we observe the nature of this deepening, like roots, which would anchor us in the stable foundation like being in the eye of a tornado.
As we continue to purify, we are pulled less and less into the content and more and more into letting go of the content; into nothing. Where we are no longer disturbed by the conditions, and we are fully aware of our own responsibility to the contents that we have allowed to perturb us within the container of our own mind.
Thus we stop projecting into the world and relationships, a protective quality that would create violence. For to lie and ask another to pretend they do not see it, and to ask yourself to not see it either, is indeed conflictive to the nature of love, and thus also truth and honesty which are facets of love.
When we orient in love, we get more comfortable in laying down our arms and facing our own demons for we see that the battle and violence has always been of our own choice. We get more skillful at surrendering that which no longer serves and seeing through loves eyes, that which would tempt us to a lesser love and being honest when we choose the lesser love so that we may stay faithful and true to that which is our nature.
Love doesn’t hurt, resistance to love does.
When we see what we are resisting comes from within, we see how powerful we are to create that which we don’t want, and in contrast, when we surrender that power to destroy that which we want, we see what power we are given to create.