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Intimate relationship with ourselves is essential if we desire to be free from suffering


There is no one person in our lives that will know us as intimately as we do or will.


Let that sink in for a moment.


There is no one, in all your life, that will have walked with you, more than you have. There is no one in your life that felt your feelings for you, that thought your thoughts for you and that loved your heart like you. No one.


Wrap your heart around it.


We spend our whole lives in relationship with something. Our relationship to everything, in every moment, creates the container of our experience. It is cumulative. If we relate to our past with grief, our partnerships with frustration, our friendships with joy and ourselves with disappointment, what is the quality of our overall life experience?


Our partner, spouse, parents, children, friends, co-workers, employees, etc. will never know to the extent we do, what is going on in our thoughts, in our emotions, and in our hearts. They will not have the full experience of knowing what we needed to show up to support us best, all the facets of our personality, our past that is present, and what is needed like we ourselves know.


When we start to gather how important we are to ourselves, that we know best how to hold our hearts, what lights our soul on fire, drives us to achieve, motivates us to excel, makes us sad and how to hold ourselves throughout it all as our best friend, we start an important shift within ourselves.


We start to empower ourselves to show up in the world in a different way. We start to see and continually validate with action how strong we really are, we stop insisting others to relate to us in ways that do not honor us both, we choose ourselves sometimes leaving another who cannot honor us in the same way, and we take steps to meet and find resources for the immature aspects of ourselves that have needs in which a previous version of ourselves did not know how meet and create that opportunity for ourselves.


Yes, this may elicit support from others however we start to really get that the responsibility is ours to hold our own inner child, not another’s responsibility to hold us.



We become the parents we always wished we had, nurturing ourselves in ways they did not have the tools for and let them off the hook. We stop acting out in self-needing ways that hurt ourselves and ultimately sabotage the very things we are seeking to create, connection and support. We show up four ourselves to take the time we need to get really clear with our hearts, our minds, our emotions because we know that no healthy relationship exists without first being healthy first. A diseased tree bears diseased fruit.


You are your best friend. You are your best ally in life. You are your best supporter. You are your greatest lover and knower of your truth. From you ALL life springs. You are the creator of your life, the experiencer, the witness, and that which is beyond. You are so important that you were given your own life to do with as you please.


When we value our life, we give permission for others to value their own. We let them off the hook because we see ourselves in the other. We get that each one of us are in a process of really taking back our own individual life, our personal responsibility to show up in it and own the value of what we were gifted.


When we do, we see that we were the one that we have been waiting for. And that each other is also the one that they have been waiting for.


This sacred journey of homecoming includes the remembering of our unique spark of individuality. Our journey up the mountain taught us about letting go of ourselves to merge into wholeness, oneness, togetherness, heaven, and unity. Now the journey back down, sharing all that we are with the whole, includes our individuation again, our unique frequency of totality in one body. Where we are the whole as the sacred I, bringing all of our-Self through an individual lens of self as our-Self.


You matter. You matter so much to your-Self, create this life the way you were designed. Show up for yourself. You can be and are your best cheerleader.


From here, selfishness starts to look like the opposite of what we are taught. It starts to look like NOT showing up and loving yourself so fully and completely.


Self-ness is what we need.


We need to be so full of our-Selves that our cups overflow. We need to integrate the knowing that deeply nourishes ourselves first that then simultaneously overflows into everyone around us, like a waterfall of divine love and care. From this place, being in divine service starts to become service to ourselves; to love, cherish, hold, adore and fill our cups so deeply in our divine Self-love, that all other relationships become free. They all become accentuated blessings that Self-regenerate divine love from Self to self and back to Self.


What would our world look like if we were to allow ourselves to want and need ourselves without considering that selfish?

What if we fully allow ourselves to show up and meet ourselves wherever we are, in loving union that includes forgiving ourselves for trespasses?

How would the intimacy of our relationship with ourselves deepen if we were to take responsibility to be our own savior, lover, and holder of ourselves while letting ourselves off the hook from past learned separating and isolating tendencies?

What would the impact of our radical Self-love be to every relationship we have, including our own?


This is our sacred work.


If it feels overwhelming and you are not sure where to start, I can help. I can help you to remember how to resource yourself so you can do it on your own, daily, in every moment bringing love into your experience of yourself.

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