You cannot be with another person's denial because you cannot be with your own.
It's so subtle, would you even see it?
You seem to see that someone else is in denial.
If you can see that, when you are in that same state of denial, would you see it in yourself?
Or would it be like the roles reversing and the other looking at you like you're crazy for not seeing something that to them, seems obvious?
The point is, would you even know you were in denial?
Denial is an energy.
It is also one of the most pervasive invisible forces that we cannot see in our field of awareness.
Why? Because to see it, we would no longer be IN denial, we would be outside of denial observing it. Thus, not IN denial.
Denial has a relationship to our perspective.
If we have grown up in a household who has used gaslighting, manipulation, force, passive/aggressive tendencies, etc as normalized behavior to continue to deny the existence of something like a mental health issue or addiction, it would be very possible that the child would grow up gaslighting themselves and their own perceptions.
What do we think the impact to the world is for a child who is raised not to trust their instincts or perceptions but to trust the dysfunctional perceptions of the parent as functional?
What deep denial might need to exist for the perpetuation of something that is NOT true, to be made true?
To say that love is a breadcrumb when we perceive or have known love a whole loaf of bread, is to deny the whole loaf of love.
If we create a value statement that the part is the whole and limit our perception to making the part as the whole, but not allowing the whole to be present as itself, we are in denial.
We may not know what the whole is, but we know what the whole is not.
And the mystery then, is not in denial of itself because it allows it all to be without defining any part or making any part of itself, whole.
Whole then, is what it is.
Then the way we can point to it as whole can only be in part.
We can relax into this mystery of life. We are no longer in denial about what it is, because we know we don't know.
But it does know itself.
Can we trust that knowing?