I’m right syndrome
Think of how many battles have been waged at the idea “I am right”?
I think of something simple as anger and what might be driving that emotion, what thoughts are arising behind the scenes giving rise to an expression.
Each time I come back to anger, there is an “I” involved with a pretty strong need. Maybe it’s protection, safety, but then what does the “I” need to deescalate or dissolve?
What happens when we go curiously into that thought?
I often see some degree of equality, the need to be acknowledged equal rights of existence and way of being as the other’s rights. Simply put, the need to be allowed to experience freely without external imposition, equal to that of the other. Mutuality in the sovereign right to exist in this moment and have a singular experience free of another’s demands that I be anything for their benefit or personal gain. Free (from another’s will/authority) and imposition that I become an object to manage or exploit for the other’s feelings. Free in all senses of the word, embodied.
Once there is an understanding of personal need, it can be easier to relax into inquiry of the idea of other and their needs. Meeting another deeply is where alchemy really is able to be known in quantum time. The more mutuality and equality that can be held, the faster the transformation, whether in ourselves or with another.
What we need, we also offer. For once we see what we need, we can receive that directly from ourSelves.
In receiving that for ourselves, filling our cups, it is offered simultaneously to the other who is in the field.
If this pattern has arisen, it is most likely they too are caught in the “I am right” “You are wrong” dynamic and so moving ourselves through ours, will polarize and help them move through theirs more quickly.
This is love and compassion in action for the two who are impacted in this experience. While one may hold more wisdom in the moment of how to release the painful dynamic by dissolving themselves through receiving what they need and extending it compassionately, both can receive the gifts of transmutation of the old patterning.
This can also be done within ones self, Alone.
Moving from blame into self-inquiry, and all parties holding the field together of mutual self-exploration, holding the recognition that no one in the field as a “better” perspective of the other than one’s self, there is a freedom of being that arises. We observe a fundamental mutuality in experience.
When we can point our own personal experience (only making it about ourselves and our own arisings), we become responsible in a whole new way. We shift the story making into the story discovering for it is only within our own selves that the Truth can be known. And we let all others speak for themselves, discover themselves, and allow us all to be in this holy madness together of self discovery. In this space we can dissolve the past and be reborn anew.
Who could be right about me unless I agreed? And if I give no one that authority but myself, taking what is useful and discarding the rest, all else falls away. All others fall away. In this way, “I am right” but is now full of humility and inclusion. And I am left to still discover “who am I” as well as the other in mutual exploration of ourSelves.
The “I” who is was once full of pride and self-justification of authority is now soft to inclusion of the “we” as “I” bringing forth a new dimension of mutuality and self-discovery where all parties are in this together in mutual curiosity of what is arising in their own inner landscape instead of trying to dominate that of the other with all sorts of sophisticated manipulatory techniques.
Anger from the self-importance becomes a gateway to move into the listening of the encompassment of the self in a much larger inclusive container, void of ourselves as we knew ourselves. No longer the old skins holding new wine, but new skins with new wine and a renewed relationship in peace.